Teenage Daleks often get a kick out of annoying the little kids.

Dr. S.

My Lifelites kit arrived today! Yes, my TARDIS is now fully lit, internally and in the lamp at the top.

All I needed to do was a small amount of drilling through the roof sections to get one of the wires through to the lamp. Otherwise, the TARDIS is as it was, I haven’t even had to glue it together – it’s remarkably sturdy, although I have to take it apart to turn off the lights and I’m not looking forward to that as it’s a bit fiddly to cram it all back in there.

Still…looks fantastic eh? No Photoshoppery involved here, I simply resized the image, otherwise you see it as it was originally taken.

This is the kit I used:

lifelites.com/products/110

Dr. S.

Enjoy!  Shot using a Sony DCR-SX33 Handycam.

Dr. S.

During Doctor Who‘s history, there have been occasional celebratory or anniversary stories where our hero would accidentally meet a past incarnation of himself and/or old enemies from the show’s history.  However aside from two cut scenes from the 3rd Doctor story Day of the Daleks, the Time Lord had skillfully managed to avoid ever bumping into his own present incarnation.

All that would change of course with the arrival of the 83rd Doctor, who, as we have previously seen, was utterly incompetent and incapable of avoiding trouble even if it was heavily signposted with flashing neon arrows.

Thus it was that, in 2337, having incorrectly calculated the date using a clapped out calculator, drunken BBC executives happily agreed that that the 341st season of Doctor Who could feature an extra special episode to celebrate the 375th anniversary of the show, a whole year ahead of the true 375th anniversary.

Not believing his luck, Producer Cambridge-Smythe immediately set about writing what he thought would be the “ultimate” Doctor Who story, featuring all the surviving Doctors and many of the alien races he had encountered through the centuries.

All that came to a grinding halt half-way through planning, with an urgent memo’ from the 6th floor.  Having temporarily sobered up long enough to notice a big hole in the budget, someone in the BBC Executive Suite had spotted that the celebration of the show’s anniversary was a whole year ahead of schedule.  And to make it worse, someone else had installed new batteries in the previously errant calculator and as a result, the episode’s budget was slashed to less than 5% of what it had been before.

Quick thinking was required, not to mention the firing of several hundred actors and actresses who had been lined up to start filming during the following week.  A new script was commissioned and sets hastily built.

The resulting episode was wittily entitled The Half Doctor, and it opened with the TARDIS materialising on a tiny desert island on the planet Metraxis II, whereupon it immediately broke down, forcing the Doctor and his assistant Millicent to evacuate the craft and await rescue.

Although small and in danger of being swamped by the endless Metraxian sea, the island was home to some micro biotic indigenous forms of life.  However after a desperate and unsuccessful attempt by the Doctor to remotely fix the time machine with his sonic hammer backfired, the TARDIS console was damaged, and dangerous energies from the time vortex began to spill outside the ship.  This caused the previously benign creatures on the island to commence a process of vastly accelerated transmutation, evolving in a Darwinian cataclysm that threatened within days to overwhelm the Doctor and his companion as monstrous radioactive creatures began to emerge from the sands…

Things took a turn for the worse when, two weeks into their exile, the Doctor and Millicent were initially relieved to hear the wheezing, groaning arrival of another TARDIS…only to discover that in fact the new arrival was a future version of the 83rd Doctor, who, in his time stream, had successfully escaped the island after three years of being trapped, only to accidentally hit the fast return switch and arrive back on the island after five minutes and nearly three years in his own past.  This Doctor had also witnessed the death of Millicent, two years before, and now his TARDIS was again non-functional.

Now trapped with two useless Doctors and two broken TARDISes, and determined to avoid her apparently pre-determined fate, Millicent was forced to find a solution to the problems that beset the three travelers, on the basis that the two Doctors either spent their time arguing amongst themselves about who’s fault this all was, or telling each other appalling jokes to which they already knew the punchlines.

Alas, the desperate cost-cutting measures employed in the making of this episode were more than evident on screen…with the show’s denouement making less than optimal use of a number of painfully obvious polystyrene rocks, plastic crabs and rubber snakes.  The BBC couldn’t even afford proper water for the Metraxian sea, and had to make do with cellophane and blue card.  In addition to this, Derek Deadman’s insistence on receiving twice his fee for the episode resulted in all pre-publicity for the show being scrapped due to lack of funds,  resulting in an extremely low audience for the transmission, which may have been just as well.

The Half Doctor was a dismal failure, and meant no proper anniversary show in 2338 – but by that time, anyone taking the remotest interest in the show was generally back on the booze, including Cambridge-Smythe, Deadman, the cleaning lady and the entire BBC Executive on the 6th floor who hadn’t really given a toss about the show in the first place.

Dr. S.

PS:  Yes, I’ve built a second LEGO TARDIS. One will have functioning lights, the other is a spare which won’t have.

Dr. S.

Dr. S.

Scholars of the Doctor Who television series will recall, if for no other reason than through my own enlightening articles on the era, that series 340-343 of the program were its most controversial. Regular readers of this series will also remember that season 343 saw a marked change in the series’ format, with the Doctor leaving the confines of the TARDIS and living in a Seattle apartment which he shared with a Dalek named Martin (and his raggedy old chair), a naughty Cybermat named Eddie, and Millicent, who became his housekeeper.

Despite the change in setting, the series retained a certain SF air to it, albeit with light entertainment Producer Geoff Cambridge-Smythe’s own unique bent. The series now had a laughter track, and plots would centre around the Doctor’s dating exploits with alien lifeforms, and Millicent’s dallying with the Master, who had become obsessed with her beauty and who would hang around the apartment for no apparent reason, even if the Doctor was out.

With most episodes from the era now wiped since the infamous and highly destructive “Fandom Wars” of 2340 which followed lead actor Derek Deadman’s assassination, many records from that period are sadly (or fortunately, depending on your point of view) lost. Luckily, some on-set stills remain, and we have here an exclusive shot from a season 343 episode entitled “Sleepwalking in Seattle” which saw the Dalek, Martin, revert to type and begin randomly exterminating visitors to the Doctor’s apartment, with amusing results!

Many people have of course criticised the blatant copying of the format of the TV sitcom Frasier (1993-2004 and revived between 2142-2185), but BBC Producers ploughed on with production of the series, regardless of all litigation thrown at them, on the basis that they had by now been sued by just about everybody in the world for just about every reason known to man, and had THE most experienced and fearless Lawyers on the planet.

This is the Frasier-style set used in Season 343 of the long-running TV series, which aired in 2339. It featured the panoramic window leading onto a balcony, the eclectic styling of the original show and even the crusty-old chair owned by Martin, the Dalek.

This is the Frasier-style Doctor Who logo used in Season 343 of the long-running TV series, which aired in 2339. Featuring the Seattle skyline, with the TARDIS taking the place of the Space Needle.

Oh, and this will teach me to write a one-line throwaway gag that kind of paints me into a corner and that I just HAVE to see through to conclusion!

Dr. S.

Dr. S.

I’ve been meaning to do this for some time. This is my new Coat of Arms.

As a LEGO humourist, my Latin motto is “Risus Per LEGO” – or, in English, “Humour Through LEGO” (I had a Latin expert double-check the correct grammar so I’m fairly certain this is correct, and I’m sticking with it now).

Dr. S.

First though we had two people try to argue with us that they “don’t price match from websites” but we persisted. One guy then said “well would you like me to see the Manager?” whereupon we replied “yes please!”

So they gave it to us for £79.99.

And then we used three £5.00 vouchers, so basically we got the set for £35.00 off. The vouchers all said “only one per transaction” but if their till staff don’t realise this and if their tills and computers haven’t been programmed not to accept more than one voucher, it’s fair game IMO.

£64.99 for a set marked up at £100.00. Result. However I’m sure some bad karma must be coming my way now…

Dr. S.

Dr. S.

Dr. S.

“Some say he can turn entire cities into glass parking lots with a mere thought, all we know is, he’s called the Stig”.

OK, so here’s the story. Some publisher is trying to blow the whistle on the eternal mystery of who plays the part of The Stig – Top Gear’s tame racing driver.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-11108795

So to pre-empt the publication of this book, it’s time to come clean – yes, it’s me.

Dr. S.